Can't sleep
You hold me as my bones begin to ache
Tired muscles twitching like a newborn on the edge of sleep
Relax, relax, relax into your arms
Ow
Do I move once more or push farther into the haze of insomnia and incessant thinking
I need to fart,
Badly
But... I love the warmth of your back,
The tingles your touch evokes as you settle your hand onto another inch of skin
Ugh
One more minute, then I'll go
Will she know I hadn't slept a wink the whole night?
Had she even been able to sleep?
Was I waking her over and over?
You excite like a downed power line in a lake of potentiality,
and yet,
I feel distance in your touch, an uncertainty of what this is,
What you want,
What I want,
Who we even are?
I couldn't begin to begin to begin to answer
In the words of a dear friends,
It's not worth the worry
Alive, interchanging, exchanging, allowing inside, opening myself to another
Yet,
My elbow hurts
The position of my leg in which it lies between yours,
happy,
content
in it's home of vulnerability,
It too hurts
Do I move it?
Can I sleep at all in this pool of warmth and uncertain connection
Am I doomed to sleeplessly enjoy cuddles until the morning sun decides to bid adieu,
*I'm not even sure if that's hello*
playing it's ways across the curves of your face and gracefully blanketed body as I wonder if it was even worth it?
Should I go?
Do tell